The BIG 33

Tomorrow I will turn 33. Yep that's what I said - 33.

Most people say that I don't look 33. I sure don't feel 33. So why is 33 a scary number for me? This age is the first one that I actually do not want to turn. 30 was even good for me. 33 just sounds.... what's the word for it... not young? I really think that if I could skip this age I would be ok because 34 and 35 don't sound as bad as 33 to me. Is that weird?

Maybe it's the double number? lol I'm sure there are reasons though.

For one, I'm going to be 33 and NOT MARRIED. It is kinda scary to think that maybe, just maybe I might not be married... and I don't wanna be alone when I'm older. I do want to be married. I just stink at meeting good men!

For two, I live in a college town. 'nuff said

For three, I don't have kids - now I have debated on whether I really want to have children. I do well with fish and cats... I'm ok with puppies/dogs. And I know that cute babies turn into teens... yuk.

Most of my friends that are within a 5 year range of my age are married and have children or will soon. I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses, but I want that. I want a family of my own. I want a husband - even though I've heard they are trouble! lol. I want the messiness and beautifulness of a family.

For four - my life still seems to be in transition. Not that it's a bad thing. I am always up for trying new things and moving to new places. I guess I just always figured that by this time in my life I would be settled.

Maybe that's what this "fear of 33" is all about. There's probably more. There's always more.

All I know is that in about 8 hours I will no longer be 32. lol anyone invented a time machine yet? :)